Human / staff
19. 03. 2024
But if we listen really well, the brain will analyse what the speaker is saying and expressing, and the thoughts will come naturally. Try it. You won’t believe how clear your thoughts will be. Everything will be clear. Not the first, second or third time. This is training, like everything else it has to be learned by training. Learn to observe and listen deeply, with everything you have. It is difficult, really difficult, at least all the time, on every occasion. What cannot be considered as a conversation is best described by the following metaphor. Two people meet, and the first says “My mother is in hospital”, and the other, without hesitating, says: “You won’t believe it, mine is too.” This is not a conversation. It is more like a competition. Who is better. In this case, it really is absurd. Because no one is better, both are worse off. That’s how the vast majority of conversations go. Don’t expect others to listen to you if you are not prepared to do exactly the same.
People talk very vehemently about certain issues. Honesty is one of them. They all immediately retort that they want sincerity. But are you ready to put it into practice yourself. Because if not, you do not expect it from others. It does not work that way. And more importantly, are you willing to accept it? Actions show otherwise. Quite the opposite. I think most people prefer to live in a fairy tale rather than have someone tell them things as they are. Because it is easier to live a lie than to accept the truth. And then they run away. We are running away. Some people start running, some people start eating, some people start drinking, some people start smoking. All this is running away, running away from honesty, from the truth. Which often hurts. It hurts us. We are better off without truth, without honesty. But it is still the truth. And sooner or later, it will strike. The later it happens, the harder it will be. Friends are there to “kick us” when necessary. When we go too far, when we do wrong to others, when we slander, insult or force them to do something that we would never let others do to us. Why do we do this? What’s in it for us? There are many reasons, so I will use a metaphor with instructions. We have not had the right instructions. Even more painful, why does no one stop us? Why are they sticking their heads in the sand? Maybe we just need help. Someone to talk to. Someone to listen to us. After all, people do this as a profession. You have to sort out your head, your thoughts (your attic).
Many people cannot look beyond their nose. The point of the previous point is that often people form a certain opinion about a certain thing and there is nothing and no one to change that opinion, even if there are a million arguments against it. I am a very principled person, but when there are arguments on the table, I know how to change that opinion. I do not like to talk about something that I do not know that I do not know enough. Nor do I want to have a strong opinion, because that might have the wrong effect on people who have no opinion at all. I like to talk about facts. In my previous reflection I talked about calibration, which is a mere fact. That is probably why. I am also always in doubt about everything. Why should I believe everything that is written or said. People lie. You won’t believe it, but they really do. Doubt is the basis of all measurement. Measurement is doubt. It gives a result in the end, but there is always doubt in the process of measurement. If you doubt all the elements that go into measurement, you have control over those elements. So, you know what they are and therefore the result will be good in that case. What you do often reflects your own thinking. The way you think. Because we spend quite a large part of our lives in business. If we spend about a quarter of it sleeping, we spend only a little less of it on business. That gives a big impression of who and what we are.
I have always been interested in how people behave and why. I often observe people and analyse their behaviour. Is it appropriate to the surroundings, the speakers, the atmosphere? I know it’s not nice to observe people, but it’s the only way I can satisfy my curiosity in relation to psychology. Psychology helps me in business, in management, in my responsibilities. What I observe is unfortunately not encouraging. At least not for me. Not at all. Young people are not interested in much anymore. Only how they are going to enjoy themselves. There is no curiosity anymore. No sense of fellow human beings. Only how they will be, how they will have fun, where they will enjoy themselves. Me, me, me. There is no more debate at all, no more conversation about the things that are important in life. Where did you buy this? Where did you buy that? Really important. I sometimes buy several pairs of shoes at the same time, just so that I don’t use one for a year or two, so that nobody accidentally wears the same shoes as I do. Probably because I want to be different. Not that I want to stand out, but I certainly do not want to be a copy. That is probably why I often go further in the debate. I’m kind of contradicting (challenging if you like). I want to know why that is. What leads to a certain situation. The real reason, which is often hidden deep down and not on a platter. Five times why is a great tool to understand it properly. Of course, first you have to know the facts, and not just say what you think is right. Forget your ideological beliefs. Assumptions are the source of most errors. Always. Business teaches you all these things. If only you want to see (read) and hear (listen). To learn. To understand.
Whenever you ask yourself why something is the way it is, ask yourself what the interest is of all those involved (stakeholders). And there may be many of them. Some are hidden behind the scenes and not visible at first sight. Analysing the impact on the measurement uncertainty that arises in each measurement is very similar to finding the stakeholders. There are many similarities. Nothing is as it seems at first sight. We have all been upset when our street has been dug up. Usually several times. In a very short space of time. Have you ever wondered why? What is the interest of those involved in digging several times rather than all at once? The project designer and the contractors have an interest in the project being done multiple times and not as one single joint project. Then there is the street authority (the municipality), which has the contractor to carry out the roadblock, and it’s the same thing all over again. The mayor likes kilometres of asphalt. And we could go on and on. In the end, you are the only ones left who are living on that street. Only you actually have an interest in digging just once, nobody else really has any interest at all in digging just once. Sad, but true.
In business, I believe that every individual is important, but nothing is bigger than the organisation. The organisation has tradition, has knowledge. And knowledge is people, it is the past work of all former employees. They are the reflections of everyone who has ever worked with the organisation. We (in Slovenia) are not really good with tradition. Everything that the predecessor has done must be overtaken, must be erased, must be undone. It is not always like that. Yet only about a third of organisations survive to be passed on to the next generation. And only a few percent to the third generation. Why? I would attribute a large proportion to the fact that newcomers want to prove themselves immediately. All from scratch. There is no need. Someone before us created something that is the best we can do today. There is no better at the moment. Why tear it down. It is better to build on it. To nurture all that has led to this. And yet, no one is irreplaceable. At least that is not how one should feel, or think, or act. Because otherwise he will be stuck in his own self. An organisation starts to develop well when there are conflicting opinions. When we have several opinions, because that is the only way to choose the best one at any given moment. And that may not necessarily be the best or it may turn out to be a mistake. History is the best teacher, we often hear. I call it tradition. Because it means the pool of knowledge and skills that an organisation has. Which are hidden in people. They just need to be brought out so that they can use them.
The smartest people in business are not those who are the smartest themselves. But those who have the right team. The smart team. Choosing the right people in business is important. But we do not have a tradition here either. We don’t know how to do it. We leave too much to chance. Systemic approaches to the selection process are key. Every human being can be successful. If he is motivated and does what he likes. If he enjoys it. Interviewing is another example where people are not honest. Just to get a job. Quite a few of them already know at the interview that the job will not suit them. I really do not understand that. Being unhappy from day one. Or even before that. It’s a pain to get up every weekday. Why? Why would you do that to yourself.?Would you want someone to wake you up every morning by hitting you on the finger with a hammer? I mean, it will be an efficient way of waking up, but you wouldn’t do it anyway. Absolutely not. Why not for the obvious things, but yes for the rest? Because I have to. We know what we really have to do. I understand that sometimes in life it is not the other way around. But what do these people do to make it different? Do they really try? Or do they wait for it to get better? It will not happen by itself. It won’t. No pain, no gain.
Young people are often impatient. I say there is a waiting room for all things. Where you wait to be treated, to be noticed. If you try hard and do the right things, sooner or later someone will notice you and offer you what you deserve. That is the time to be impatient, right then and never again. It is at this moment that you must show your utmost humility. Your greatest willingness to give even more. To learn and to teach even more. All those who have the desire to take on greater responsibility, be ready at that moment. I only had the willingness, but I was by no means ready. I was in the right place at the right time. Luck? I do not believe in luck. I was there because I always wanted to be there. But wishing is not enough. It’s just a ticket. You have to learn and work on yourself. Even effort and work is not enough if you are trying and doing the wrong things. If you just move firewood from one pile to another pile, you have done the work. Was it worthwhile? Good question. What are the right things? I do not have an answer. The right things. If I knew that, I would be …
Primož
Next time, 3rd of April 2024, WORK (delo in Slovenian language)