GRATITUDE (hvala in Slovenian language)
28. 05. 2024
Let it be a hug that comes of its own accord, that is not acted out. Let it be a kiss that is inspired. Let it be a word that is unforced. Let it be attentive listening when it is needed. Let it be responsibility as a moral necessity. Let it be all the beautiful, small moments that together make happiness.
A few years ago, I wondered if love was something that was meant for me. Something I will experience. Yet it is not and has not been in my personal life. I am not saying that I am not happy in my life. Although I don’t actually believe in happiness. It comes with dedication, hard work, thinking about all sorts of subjects, difficult subjects one might say. What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? Why? A good question that requires deep reflection. Everything we experience in life is a school from which we must learn to be better every day. We have to learn how to be a better person tomorrow. But it’s only recently that I’ve really realised that it’s actually someone else who makes you better. Someone who gives you everything as a result of you giving everything to them. Unconditionally. You give yourself with complete trust to a person you didn’t even know a few days, weeks, months ago. And yet you feel that you have known that person for years, for decades, forever. As if he were your twin. When you know exactly what and how. When nothing is difficult. When you do everything effortlessly, and yet it looks like you’re trying with everything you know and have. The feelings are really unforgettable, incredible, irreversible …
Everyone should be grateful to his or her parents first, because they are the ones who gave you life. Consequently, to their parents for raising their daughters or sons in such a way that only they can pass it on to us. And yet this gratitude is somehow different. It is not questionable. It should not be. There is no way that I cannot be eternally grateful to my parents, to my family, for being who I am. That they have taught me what is right and what is wrong. That is what raising a child is all about. That I was brought up in childhood in a way that I could later develop my full potential. So that I could continue to learn at a young age, to be curious, to think with my own head, to sometimes be stubborn, to be different. A person is constantly learning, evolving, and has a desire, a longing for something that may not even be fully known to him all the time. That is in some way unknown, and that is the beauty of life. One learns in childhood to think in the way one thinks throughout one’s life. Of course, he acquires a great deal of knowledge later on so that he can build on his thinking. It is backed up by a mass of data, a mass of his own and others’ experiences, traditions and observations from the past. With parents, I must emphasise that no one should let go of their parents in such a way that they miss them when they are no longer there. That is why I strongly recommend everyone to nurture the relationship with their parents as long as they have them by their side. Because they could soon be gone forever. And they may have left at a moment when you weren’t on the best of terms, when you were estranged. Talk it out, smooth out the disputes, don’t keep your feelings inside. You will not regret it. I myself realised, fortunately, when I lost my father, that it is never too late for a truce. I caught literally the last hours. It was only later that I realised that he had said goodbye to me at that moment, even though I did not immediately perceive it as goodbye. This still reassures me today and brings peace to my soul. I cannot imagine how I would have felt if I had thought that it had not happened. That he left when we were not on good terms. It would probably eat me up for the rest of my days.
Sisters and brothers, on the other hand, bear a special and lasting bond. Although we often do not understand each other, we love each other in our own special way. Brotherly love is never an issue. Even though we sometimes cannot bear each other, we would do anything for each other. After all, you grow up together with them. You play with them. You have fun with them. You cry tears with them. You do whatever it takes. Deep down, you really want them to do well, to succeed. To live as they wish. You don’t want to hurt them in any way, so every now and then you don’t tell them something, you hide something from them. Mistake. Big mistake. Sooner or later, it backfires, and you regret it. Be responsible. Understand them because you don’t know what is happening to them. Watch them and help them when you see they need help. Listen to them in any way you can. Telling your sister or brother what is bothering you, what is on your mind, is the hardest thing to do. Incredibly hard. Harder than it is for anyone else. How unusual this bond is between sisters and brothers. Special and without comparison to other relationships.
We are indeed developing throughout our lives. I have to single out at least two people who have taught me a lot. Above all, they have given me the opportunity to learn on my own, to learn from the best. In a way, I consider them as my mentors, as my second parents. That is how they behaved towards me and how they still behave towards me. I try to give back to them with my work everything I have got from them, but I still have the feeling that I have not even started. That I am behind. A big gap that I will never be able to reduce. There have been many really good moments, from which I have often drawn the energy that others have only picked up from me. I have always been welcomed, I have always felt accepted, even if there have been difficult moments. Times when not everything was as it should be. It had to be like this. If everything was nice, then everything would have been mediocre. There must be bad moments to appreciate the really nice moments in life. Thank you and the rest of the family for welcoming me into a place where I still feel like a member, an equal member. That is how I feel, and I am grateful for that. I always will be, because I have really learnt what is important in life and what are the things that you do not have to worry about. Things that you have no influence on are not worth mentioning. Worry about the things you have influence over, that is, most of all and only because of your own actions, words, behaviour, thinking, work… thank you for the opportunity.
I have to be grateful for all the experiences in the past that have taught me to be me. That have shaped me. That have taught me. In the good moments we create impressions, while in the bad moments we learn how to get rid of them. How to be better. How to influence myself to keep the bad moments to a minimum. That’s why in life you change the people you hang out with, the people you spend your time with. Even friends, colleagues, even partners if they are not willing or able to grow with you. Some people just stay in their twenties and never really mature as a person. I don’t understand people who blame their parents (or anyone else) for everything that happens to them all the time. For the way they are. People have to develop themselves, so they have to become independent. In a way, one has to break the bond with one’s parents and live one’s own life. You have to think with your head. It has to create its own world view, its own mindset, its own personality. This defines him, not his parents or others. Be the master of your mind, be the manager of your own thoughts. Do not follow. Be your own man and stand on your own foundations. All the experiences that have shaped my personality are of a certain period. They are the influence of one or more people who have been part of my life during a given period. Some of them are still there, some of them are gone forever, some of them have withdrawn, some of them have taken advantage of my trust, some of them have deceived me, but I have learned something from each one of them. I have learnt from each and every one of them, and I should not be, and am not, ungrateful to them. Each one has given me something to learn lessons that are now helping me in my life.
The last period is special. It is, simply put, beautiful, wonderful. It gives a sense of purpose that has almost been forgotten. For the meaning of life is not what we have created or what we have. I see the meaning in what I myself, as a human being, am able to give. And it is really not hard to give when you know you are getting double back. When nothing is hard. When you do everything literally without thinking, without effort. Because you just know what to do. You know what the person next to you feels, you know what it is that makes it worth being. It’s an incredible feeling of freedom, but it’s also a huge responsibility towards that person. So, I always try to say how I feel. How I feel at any given moment. Not even what bothers me. Because I shouldn’t have my own expectations in all of this. We should never expect something in return for what we give. Never. It comes naturally. As a result of my own actions. It is always what we feel that matters, not what we want. Least of all what we would want from a partner. So, if I don’t know something, I ask. I want things to go in the right direction. I want to improve. Because if I don’t know, I don’t know how to improve. In a relationship it is important to be close, to say the good and to deal with the bad. The burden only gets heavier with time. Talking should always be a guide to improving relationships. A frank conversation solves many problems, even the biggest and seemingly unsolvable ones.
I have to be really grateful for the opportunity I have been given in this last period. I have to. And I am. Love is something that happens once (some say several times) in a lifetime. It strikes like a bolt from the blue. It is the strongest force that it really is not. It is a set of experiences that give feelings of happiness, respect, pride… When we simply know that there is something more, something better, something more beautiful. Someone. A person who gives you energy when you don’t have it. Listens to you when you’re down and speaks when you need advice. Which complements you. That fills your soul. That picks you up when you fall. That kicks you when you need a kick. That brings you sunshine when it’s dark. Who lets you talk, even when she’s had a wonderful day, just so you can tell how bad a day you’ve had. Who lets you be who you are. Who doesn’t want to change you to suit herself but accepts you as you are. Who defends you from people who wish you bad. Who supports you. Who respects you. Who admires you. Who shares with you all the good and the bad moments. Who loves you with everything she has. Who is … A person who makes you a better person in every way. Thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being.
Primož
Next time, 12 June 2024, INFRASTRUCTURE of QUALITY